The People v. Titototter: Jet

🟢Case Number 26969🟢

Judge lotsaspaghetti. Closer of cases. Reviewer of videos. Righter of wrongs. Also available for birthdays, weddings and barshitzvahs. It’s sorta like Hanukkah, except I’m there so it’s 100% more uncomfortable.

https://youtu.be/I5Lyzri-mFo

So, Jet. The video that created the character that would lead to my indifferencies towards Titototter. And the video that made people actually wanna WATCH Tito’s channel. Look, let’s be honest here, the only reason why 90% of Tito’s fans actually watches Titototter is because of SML. Sad, but true. But hey, let’s just check it out —- and see if it’s GUILTY.

Sonic and Tails hear someone crying and rush to help. Apparently, some Panda is sad because she can’t be an all-white panda. Hey, maybe she wants that privilege…….if it means not getting shot the second she walks out of her house then so be it. Too far? Then a streak of green flashes by - he’s mean, he’s green, he’s got a peen……...he’s JET. Hoo boy…...well, it was only a matter of time before Logan forced himself into this……...as you can CLEARLY tell, I'm not that big a fan of Jet. Why? Oh, idk……...maybe because he’s extremely annoying and only exists to let Tito have someone to leech views off of? He starts bragging about how fast he is, and demonstrates by……..well, it’s kinda hard to explain…..you ever see an autistic kid have a seizure? Basically that, without the screeching.

Envious of his speed, a Monkey wants to be fast like Jet, who says that to be fast he has to stretch his legs, get new sneaks and run forward and press X. Oh, the horror! Pressing that button…...he’ll get VIDEO THUMB!

To prove who’s really the fastest thing alive, Monkey dares Jet into racing Sonic, only to find out Jet isn’t as fast as he claims. Shouldn’t Monkey figured that out already? I mean, he said all you need to go fast is new sneaks, and when I get new sneaks my fat ass can’t even keep up with an ICE CREAM TRUCK! Faced with losing to Sonic, (I mean, if it means listening to Tito’s shit voice acting, then I mean……..) Monkey uses a banana peel to make Sonic trip and break his leg. Though Jet technically wins the race, he actually feels bad for once and apologizes. Yeah, I know this is only his first video, but trust me, it’s about to get a WHOLE LOT WORSE………..Later, Sonic makes Speedy McSpeedster help him while still faking having a broken leg. Oh no, are we getting another “Broken Leg” rehash?? Y’see, just you wait, it’s gonna get a WHOLE LOT WORSE!

Hoo boy, wasn’t this a GREAT START? On one hand, there are some decent jokes like Jet’s way of running or SPEEDY MCSPEEDSTER, and it actually is a good introduction episode for him: it shows just how godawful and annoying he’ll eventually become. On the other hand tho, Jet is pretty damn obnoxious, and so is Panda, and the ending makes dread the possibility of any future rehashes. *shudder*

Also that whole banana peel part gives me more Stefan Karl flashbacks, and that’s just depressing, man.

I find this video GUILTY. Case closed.

🟢CASE CLOSED🟢

SENTENCE: Now watch and learn, here’s the deal….